THE AMAZING RACE.

Man oh man that was a looooong ass day.  My mornings have been starting every day at 5:15 am. Kevin my oldest son started high school this year and has to be at the bus stop by 6:35 for pick up.  Being a teenager, this is very difficult to do, you know waking up, that's hard on kids that age, ha.  So, I got him up and out the door and started in on the next one. Brady was pretty easy because we were letting him and his friend ride their bikes to school today so he was up and ready to go very quickly. Honestly I almost hoped he would wake up sick and I would have to cancel my whole day, no luck, of he went on his bike.

OUR FIRST CLUE

As we stared our race of a day, our first clue was to be sure to be ready to wait..........and wait........and wait.  We got to the Medical Oncologists (MO) office early and were ready to get the show on the road, but that was not to happen. We waited for about and hour before we were called back to an exam room.  I wasn't really thinking about the time actually because this was the doc I was very anxious to hear from (not happy, but anxious).  Dr. Shah was very nice and explained my future torture sessions pretty well.  She wrote me a script for a wig, yep the script say WIG on it, it's sorta funny.   She examined me and I must say, she had WARM hands, which was very nice for a change.  After our time with her, we were asked to see a person in charge of clinical trials. I can't say I remember anything that she said, because at that point we were already late for the Radiology Oncologist (RO).  When we were done with her the Chemo nurse came in, her name is Lynda, but everyone calls her Frenchie.  Maybe I can be Sandy? Actually, I am more of a Rizzo.

NEXT LEG OF THE RACE

Frenchie told us a little about the chemo to come and about the services offered at MD Anderson, again I didn't hear too much.  After we were done we sprinted next door to the big MD Anderson building to the RO office.  The MO office had emailed to say we would be late, but we only had 30 minutes to see the doc, get examined and get back to the ambulatory care building for the PET/CT scan.  They worked fast, the doc came in, he talked about radiation and examined me. In contrast to Dr. Shah, Dr. Dvorky's hands were like ICE, omg, they were the coldest hands yet.

LAST LEG, EYE ON THE PRIZE

Another sprint back to the ambulatory center, up the elevator and not one minute to spare.  Got registered and we were on our way.  The registration guy took us over the bridge back to MD Anderson to the nuclear medicine area.  We were greeted by Mae, a very nice nurse.  Mae brought us into a room titled "INCUBATION".  She started my IV and tested my blood sugar and we waited for a bit.  Due to the highly radioactive nature of the injection Pat had to leave and wait in the waiting room.  I set up my laptop and started to do some work, trying to make the day not a total loss.  Five minutes later another man came in with a ominous looking syringe, he put it in a odd looking metal tube and injected it in my IV. So, I sat.  The Scan tech came for me about an hour later and we went to the scan room.  I wish I knew his name so I wouldn't have to keep calling him the tech, but anyway, the tech had me lay on the table and put some peaceful generic elevator music on.  He taped my head to the table, in case I fell asleep, right!

MMMMM, I LOVE THE TASTE OF METAL.

In and out, in and out, in and out.  The PET scan wasn't too long or too boring.  Now let me tell you about the CT scan.  The CT scan didn't take long at all maybe five minutes, but boy oh boy was that strange.  Tech guy came back in and told me about the scan and injected something into my IV he said he would tell when it is released.  Back in the tube and nice British voice told me to hold my breath, in and out.  Tech guy came over the intercom and said the contrast solution was being released. Ewwwww that was weird, I had the strange metal taste in my mouth, my body felt warm all over and it felt like I peed my pants.  In and out, in and out again.  That was it, tech guy came in and much to my relief I did not pee my pants.  He helped me off the table and I was able to leave, THANK GOD!!!

QUARANTINED!!!!

When we were on our way home Pat called Kevin and explained to him that I could not be near him, his brother or the animals till at least 10pm because of the highly radioactive junk.  I got home and went straight up to my room.  After a while Brady came home from his friends house and Pat told him that he couldn't see me.  Heartbreaking, that is the only way to describe how it felt to hear him cry knowing that he couldn't just come hug me. Well we all tried to stay up till 10pm, but we all crashed instead.  At 1:30am, Brady was at my door, "Mama (he still calls me Mama, so cute), is it time yet?"  He crawled into my bed and I held him tight the rest of the sleep.

It's getting sad, sorry :(

Today I am sad, I am angry and depressed. Yesterday August 23 Dr. Smith called and told us the tumor is bigger than he thought and at least one lymph node is enlarged for sure.  He told us the suggested plan is to start chemotherapy immediately and put off the surgery.  He hopes to see if the tumor (hopefully) reacts to the chemo and shrinks.

Tomorrow August 25 I will have a PET scan and a CT scan.  Monday August 30 they will do a Sentinel Node Biopsy and put a port in my chest for the chemo.

FIGHTING BACK MANY TEARS, THIS SUCKS!!!!

Are we there yet, Are we there yet, Are we there yet???

I feel like I am being long winded, and I apologize that this is taking so long. I am going to try to wrap up the history today and get on to the current story.

August 4th was the day of reckoning, I waited all day and at the end of the day got the call, the nurse didn't take long, she just told me, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  I cried, we cried. It was a long, long night.

August 10th was the follow up appointment with Dr. Smith.  When we got to the office it was again very quiet, not crowded at all.  I see all my doctors at the Breast Care Center, it is an office at the MD Anderson Center specifically just for Breast Care patients to go to. So, I do the change clothes thing and go again to the women only waiting room.  I wait............I wait..........I wait.........  then I hear that they are running behind.  Well at this point it has already been a very long week and I am tired of being alone with my thoughts so I decide to march my myself with my hospital gown top out to the main waiting room to wait with my husband.  After about ten minutes we are taken to an exam room.  Dr. Smith came in talked a bit about the diagnosis and the plan.  Plan was at that point Lumpectomy (LX) with Sentinel Node Biopsy (SNB).  We then went into the US room to get a look at the tumor (I really need to give it a name, feel free to submit names) and to look at the lymph nodes.  My original Panini and US report enlarged lymph nodes.  The Doc said the lymph nodes didn't look especially alarming so I got dressed and we left.

ISN'T IS IRONIC (NEEDLES, PART TWO)

I have never had an MRI, but everyone told me it was not bad if you are not claustrophobic, just very noisy.  They also told me the noise wouldn't be an issue because they would give me headphones to listen to music. Sorry, but you were all WRONG!!!!!  I got into my MRI attire and walked into the room and the tech asked me some questions, pacemaker?metal in body? jewelry?.  Then came the news no one told me about, "Sit down here sweetie so I can start your IV. OH MY GOD!!!! I was not ready for that!!!! I verbalized my displeasure and the tech said I could leave now and reschedule if I want but I just sucked it up and did it.  I hurt a little, but I got through it.  So I laid down on the table a put "the girls" into two cut out holes, the tech put some headphones on my head and the table was slid into the tube. The tech put the music on and though it was a little low and I could hear it, the song was Ironic by Alanis Morrisette and I thought "Isn't this ironic".  At this point, I was upset, crying a little, mostly because this had been a long week.

NEEDLES, PART THREE (YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE, NOT HARDLY)

Alrighty, lets get this show on the road, I was ready for the noise and prepared to be uncomfortable for thirty minutes. The tech comes around to the front of the machine to hook up the IV bag.........."Oh no, your vein blew".........OMG!!!!!  He called in another tech to start a new line in the other hand, I am slid back into the tube and away we go.  Well I have learned a few lessons from this adventure, the most important being that the headphones are lousy and I will just bring ear plugs next time. One side slipped off and I couldn't even hear the music. After about forty five minutes (not thirty) I was done.  I got dressed and went out to the waiting room to wait for my films.

CONDENSING

I will never get caught up if I don't condense a little bit so........
Tuesday August 17 got MRI results, it said tumor is much larger than originally thought and lymph nodes are most likely involved  Dr. Smith didn't believe this was correct, had ORMC radiologist review films. August 18, Dr. Smith tells me chemo first may be an option if tumor is larger than thought. He will call me Friday or Monday when he knows more.

The Saga continues

When I last left you I was looking for a new BS (Breast Surgeon).  Due to the ongoing disputes with our insurance company and a local healthcare system, I knew I would have limits in my choices.  I did some searching with the UHC (United Healtcare) website and it was very limiting.  When all else fails....Google.  I am always amazed with what comes up when I Google.  By the time I am done with all this fun of BC, I may qualify for my Doctorate just by learning from Google. I was pleased to find the Google directed me to the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Orlando where they have a specific office dedicated to Breast issues entirely.  Being worried (already knowing) I asked the scheduler for the first woman BS available.  I felt like the best choice would be a female.  Well that didn't pan out so, the first available was with a Dr. Jeffrey Smith, so I took it.

A New Friend

While waiting for my appointment I surfed for answers and stories, I needed to hear that this is nothing and would be just fine, I was probably just being an alarmist.  You would be amazed at the stuff you can find on Face Book by simply searching breast.  The first FB page I came across was Deanna's, it is a group for mothers with BC (Breast Cancer).  Well this seemed like a good place to start, I am a mother first and most of all, now I am one with BC. Seeing that Deanna lived in Orlando I messaged her to find out who she used for a BS and was pleasantly surprised to hear that she uses Dr. Smith. Thanks Deanna!!

Are you guys getting bored yet??

I DO NOT LIKE SOAP OPERAS!!

Anxiously on August 3rd my husband went to my appointment with the new BS.  Of course I was nervous, not knowing what to expect, but this had to be done.  We got the Breast Care Center at MD Anderson and I was very pleased to find a quiet office with a nice receptionist.  After we checked in I was taken to a changing room to change my top for a gown and then taken to a "Women Only" waiting room.  I was by myself for a while and that was my chance to change the channel, but I missed it.  I think that alot of people assume that women like soap operas, that's what was on, thank god for my Iphone.  After a short wait I was taken to an exam room where my husband was.  We talked a little and then and Intern came in. She examined me and then Dr. Smith came.  He examined me and then he talked.  He didn't say anything that I didn't already know.

I HATE NEEDLES!!!!

Everything was going pretty good with the appointment.  I liked Dr. Smith, really liked all his staff and then he dropped the BOMB!!!  He wanted to a Core Needle Biopsy, right here and right NOW.   Ugggghhhh, this didn't go so well the last time I told him.  He said I could wait if I want, but that wasn't going to happen, my husband was giving me the suck it up and get it done look and I knew I had to.  So we went to the US room and I got my biopsy.  WOW, that was sooooooooooo different than last time with the "not feeling the love" BS.  Last time, I was head to toe naked, my husband couldn't be in the room and it hurt like a son of a bitch!!  Oh, I forgot to mention, last time I felt like the staff was very cold, almost annoyed by my crying and showed no compassion.  So, this time even still had my sneakers and bottoms on, my husband was in the room, within eyesight and it really didn't hurt.  I must also mention, Jenn the nurse was FANTASTIC!!!! She was holding my hand and talking to me about my kids, it helped tremendously.

I am trying not to take too long to catch you all up on the past few weeks, I should have this up to present time by the end of my next post.

Hey, doesa anyonea wanna Panini???

Well, continuing the story where I left off, I had to go for my latest Panini.  First, let me tell you, having dense breasts should mean that Panini's would be a little uncomfortable, however, I really don't seems to be bothered by them.  This time was a little different as they had to do some specialized compressions. Pancakes anyone??  After the Panini I had to have ultrasound, this doesn't hurt, it just takes a loooooong time.  After the US (ultrasound) I had to wait for the Radiologist to make sure they didn't need anymore images.  The tech came into the room and said they were done. Now, if everything is okay then I just leave, if not, the Radiologist would come speak with me.  So I asked the tech, "Is everything okay then" ?  She then told me the Radiologist was too busy to come to see me, but the lump (maybe I should it give it a name??) had irregular borders and increased blood flow and the report was being transcribed STAT. STAT!!! I could be talking about a TV show.

Whoa, not feeling the love AT ALL!!!

Well I already knew by the time I was home this was not going to be a good day.  At this point I knew I would have to find a new Breast Surgeon so I went online and let my fingers do the walking. "Ring, Ring" (my phone), who could that be?  My current Breast Surgeon called me, HERSELF, wow this must be important.  She said the Radiologist called her with the report and I needed a biopsy right away.  I told her I was not coming back to her and once again "I did not feel the love", actually she asked why I was not coming back and was very cold and didn't seem to care about why too much, she seemed a little annoyed that I would not be her patient anymore.

I don't want to bore you anymore today with the details, soooo to be continued............

Rewinding slightly.

So today I will start by rewinding the story a bit so you will all know how this came about.  Well, about a year and a half ago I had my first mammogram. I was a year overdue, but since my mother had just undergone a mastectomy for breast cancer (not genetically related due to her age) I finally got up the courage to go.  Lots of women say that mammograms hurt, I didn't find this to be a problem for me.  Well, after my first "Panini" as a I call it now I got a postcard in the mail.  Now, usually postcards are great! They show someplace fun and exciting that friends or family are visiting that I would like to go to.  This was not the case.  My postcard informed me that my Panini found something "different" and I needed to visit the radiology center again.  What?  I would have much rather visited Hawaii or the mountains. Well after this trip the radiologist came in the room and told me I needed biopsies. Ewwwww, Yucckkk, Owwwwww!!!

Knowing what my mother had gone through I decided to go big time and see a Breast surgeon right away for the biopsies.  After a few weeks of worry, one Core needle biopsy and one fine aspiration needle biopsy, the good news, I have DENSE breasts!!! I never thought they were exceptional, but dense??  This just meant that I may from time to time have small cysts and benign tumors in my breasts that need to be checked out.  I found out that one was a fibroadenoma the other was just a regular cyst.  I also found out that I did not like this Breast surgeon, I like to say "I did not feel the love".  I was told I would have to go for Paninis and ultrasounds every six months now, just to keep and eye on things.

Fast Forward (just read this part really fast)

Six months later, Panini and ultrasound, this turned out just fine. One year later Panini and ultrasound, just fine again. Yeah!!!

Here and now

So after that brief history, we come to only about six weeks ago.  I was feeling myself up in the shower (my husband missed this, too bad for him) when I felt a bump.  Well I messed around with it for a while and figured well it must be nothing again, maybe we will see if it changes with my time of the month.  After a couple of weeks, I realized this was not going to change. Since it was nearing time for my Panini again I figured I could just get it over and everything would be fine again, I was mistaken.

Next time on "The BREAST times of my life", Beth will encounter the gripping claws of the Panini machine once again and the path to finding a new surgeon will turn up a new friend.

Coming out.

I decided I would have a try at this blogging thing, maybe it will help me, maybe it will help others. I tried to come up with a nifty name for my blog, at first I thought of calling it "I don't have time for Breast Cancer", but it didn't seem right. A friend suggested some other ideas "The Boob chronicles" or "The Boob Monologues", I liked those, but felt I needed to think of this myself. Last week my older son Kevin had to pick a book to read for the summer (yes, only a few weeks left of summer, but we still had to do it). My mother suggested "A Tale of two Cities". THAT’S IT!!!!! "A Tale of Two Titties"..........nah, my kids would laugh too much. So I thought some more, mmmmmm, the first sentence of "A Tale of Two Cities" begins with "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…." so that’s what gave me the idea for the name of my blog.




I was going to just email some of my friends on Face book and just tell them, but since I am doing this blog, I will make this my "coming out" post. Sooooo......



Hi Everyone, I found out last week that I have Breast Cancer!! This stinks!!!